writing

Fake Dating Profile

What I don’t like to do in my free time: go out and be social

Things my friends would tell you about me: way too emotional, a bit moody, can’t commit to go to a party let alone have a relationship, a waffler, has no chill

What I’m NOT looking for in a person: inability to have a conversation, needs hand-holding in social situations, thinks photos of his biceps is what women want, makes a lot of money and drives a cool car, believes football is a religion

Things I can’t live without: independence, my space, my books, my messy desk,

First thing people notice about me: my weight, my not perfect skin, the cynicism glaring from my eyes, the ability to verbally destroy someone if in the mood,

Why I’ve joined this site: pretty sure I’m gonna die alone and would prefer to make someone suffer with me.

I had this idea years ago of what a ‘true’ dating profile would look like. Let’s just get past the good first impressions and just say what we really mean. It’s a little exaggerated for comedic effect but…the truth can hurt. 

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