This year (2018) has not been the easiest of five months (is it only that much?). I didn’t realize it until I randomly started listing the things that have happened specifically in my life this year, and mostly it’s not positive. The biggest sorrow is that I have a lot of local friends who are or have already moved out of town and/or state. Some of colleagues who have found better opportunities and honestly, I’m so excited for them. Truly, hearing about the new job, the new responsibilities, the new homes/apartments makes my heart happy that it’s all working out so swimmingly. Some of my friends are leaving due to husbands being transferred (either medical or military it seems), and again; super excited to hear about the good things that are coming in these new places and new jobs. I am happy for them. I’m just sad for me.
It’s not easy being the one left behind. I used to be the one doing the moving, so this is a new experience for me at my age. It’s hard not to feel sorry for myself in light of the newness radiating on my friends, and it makes my life look fairly same old same old. It’s not, logically. Every year I get a new group of students and even if I’m technically teaching the same thing, it’s never the same. There are always new experiences on the horizon; some that happen, some I seek out. I know that my life is not monotonous.
It just felt like that this past couple months with all the goodbyes.
So, to counteract that, I decided to get out of town the moment school was out. A change of scenery, people, atmosphere. I am lucky enough to have godparents who had their lake house empty right now, up here in North Carolina, and they graciously have allowed me to crash here for several days. The photo is the view out the back windows. It’s supposed to rain pretty much all week, but I don’t mind. Rain tends to inspire me as it’s one of my favorite types of weather. If it clears up, I might go down and sit on the little dock and let my feet enjoy the water, but generally, I’m good with the scene outside my window not being the same old same old.
So here I am, blogging before I get back to the massive editing and revising of Phase. It’s kinda hilarious at this point. I keep adding, then deleting old stuff, so for days now, I’ve been thirty pages from the end, but it looks like I’ve not progressed at all. Things are changing even from the hand-edits I made a month ago. I’m hopeful my choices are all good ones, even if they seem kinda rough now.
I also hope I get it done by June 1 (my own deadline). If not, well, I can stare out the window and enjoy that life tends to be beautiful if you just recognize what’s already there.
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